You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
