Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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