i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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