Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
