and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize