dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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