Plan B is the new Plan A
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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