a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
