never play flip cup with pint glasses
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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