Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
