how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have fence marks all over my body
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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