I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
