Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize