no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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