At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
