question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How does it feel to date your dad?
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