I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
