Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I could make wine with my vomit
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
