also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm always down for nudity.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
