Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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