So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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