Swine flu. Run for my life!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The air was thick with penises
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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