3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Mom said you looked used
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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