We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
