I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
