Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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