i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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