need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
