Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
