the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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