Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
