Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
