I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
