At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
