Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
