whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How does one acquire holy water?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
