Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize