you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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