): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they're like a gay fantastic four
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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