I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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