The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
