That's intense
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
