Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
