i think my tv is drunk
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
