You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
