Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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