Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
