she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
