Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
