hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
