The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
