He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
