True but thats because hes a fetus.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
