The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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