so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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