ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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