Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
