can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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