these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
