how can u be prego again
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
