This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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