hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
