i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
