let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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